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Spiritual Tribe: Seeking Redemption and Release from Torment

Just after the court case. I was desperate to find some sort of absolution, something to take away this awful deep sense of shame. 28 years clean and sober I had become a public disgrace to my peers and my family. I reached out to this man, who I knew had had a much greater fall from office than I did. A fall which resulted in his receiving a prison sentence and leaving a public position, very publicly.


Over the next six months I sat in his lounge, and we talked, talked about life, religion, redemption, salvation, atonement for our sins. He had found his comfort for the soul in the religious Jesus Christ. I was struggling. I couldn’t believe that Jesus Christ was some sort of alien, some sort of superhuman being. To me he was just human. If there was this sort of God that the Christian church spoke about and taught, why was there so much evil in the world? Human beings really do bad thigs to other human beings. I just couldn’t accept any redemption, salvation, from this man made God, and certainly I couldn’t see any release from my thoughts, my desires, geed, and self-will, selfishness. There seemed to be no release or forgiveness from this Jesus Christ for me. Would I just have to be content with a life of torment, tormented by my Ego, my ‘Self’? I had been a hustler all my life perhaps that’s just the way it is meant to be.


He suggested that I go to Oxford University to learn about God!


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